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Communication Styles in Relationships

Shrinivas Kanade
You utilize different communication styles in relationships for business and for personal reasons. Here are some styles to aid you in effective communication with your partner.
Communication or conversation acts as a lubricant in a relationship. The basic nature of the person is most apparent whilst he or she is in communication with others.
The logical or emotional aspect of a person's personality not only dominates his or her perceptions but also tings the style of talking. It takes the following forms:
  • Passive
  • Aggressive
  • Assertive

Passive

Using passive communication, you tend to give priority to the welfare of others over yours. This results in, you giving the impression to others that you have a very low self image and inferiority complex to yourself. Your verbal communication borders on the softness and your tentative voice gives it an apologetic note.
Your body language or non-verbal communication is full of excessive head nodding, stooped posture, avoiding eye contact, and looking down or away as if you are searching, unsuccessfully, for the clues, to advance the conversation in thin air. In business leadership or business communication this style is hardly of any use.
Is this form of communication harmful? Yes, it is. Using passive communication, you do everything in a conversation, but expressing yourself which is the heart of the conversation. It erodes your self-esteem, confidence, and makes you angry at yourself. It earns you pity and disrespect from the others who are part of the relationship.

Aggressive

The antithesis of the passive style expresses, "I am Ok, you are not Ok". The practitioner of an aggressive communication is very much aware of what is good for him. However, he or she is not very particular about who gets hurt, while they are achieving it. Verbal communication is loud and is a means of letting others know how superior these people are.
Non-verbal communication or body language is aggressive. The clenched tight fist, rigid body posture, and the staring eyes are enough to intimidate the other individual. Adopting this style of communication is a sure shot way of earning anger and disrespect from others.

Assertive

The best among all the types and is very conducive to healthy relationships. You can employ an assertive style from the various other communication styles, to nourish and cement them. Your attitude speaks of the "You are Ok, I am Ok", approach. You value the rights of the individual you are in a relationship with, but not at the cost of your rights.
Your communication bestows importance and equal status to others and signifies emptiness of trampling each other in whatever race you are. "Both of us can win", is your message to the others, "by fulfilling our part of the bargain".
Communication in the workplace based on this style can lead to effective communication in the workplace which results in productivity.

Relationship Communication Tips

Studies show that boys use communication for the purpose of deciding the pecking order among them. On the other hand girls use communication to intimate and feel close to the people they choose to talk to. Communication is more of a stress buster activity when it comes to girls. Here are some communication tips to overcome barriers in relationships.
  • Express Yourself: An individual with the emotional thrust behind his personality gets bottled up, if he or she is not allowed express himself or herself. Talk freely, clearly, even at the cost of ridicule or derision.
  • Clarify Ideas: If your partner's personality is logically driven, then it means that he or she needs you to clarify some of your ideas.
  • Differentiate Between Feelings and Behavior: It may be the case that your partner did or said something which hurt you immensely. It could be unintentional or it might be that your feeling hurt was more far fetched than what was intended. Try to fathom your feelings for their source. Talk openly about the feelings rather than discussing the behavior.
  • Assertive and Nagging: A nagging person doesn't give solutions to a problem which could help a relationship. An assertive personality may solve a problem by sharing relationship advice as a solution with you.
Listening to others is a great skill when it comes to understanding others and makes the least thanked part of the communication. Improving interpersonal communication is the key to an easy and fruitful relationship.