How to Deal with a Break Up

Tap to Read ➤ Mukta Gaikwad

Breaking up was unavoidable, because in retrospect you will find signs that you missed all along. It is an all new situation and you certainly don't know how to deal with it. Relax and read on for the best ways to deal with the new found 'singledom' by making a fresh start to a beautiful life.

Whether you leave or you are left behind, the pain of a heartbreak is excruciating. Eventually, it does not matter who did what, because the 'leaving each other', remains the finality. Though your relationship has come to an end there is no reason why life should be sour for you.

If the experience of breakup is entirely new for you, it will be all the more difficult for you to cope after a relationship break up. Nevertheless, you need to gather yourself and make a fresh start to your life.

The element of love will be lost, but that's not forever. The breakup hurts and it is hard, it's something you'd never imagined, so that's why you need to learn how to deal with it.

Advice on Dealing With a Break Up

► The first thing you need to know is that it's OK to cry, and this is a serious break up advice. It doesn't matter whether you are a girl or a guy. Those who said and say that big boys don't cry, were the ones who cried hoarse.

Crying is the first step towards accepting the situation and letting it all out. Grab some tissues, find your comfort zone or privacy, and jettison the feeling at once.

► Think of why and what made either one of you reach this decision. It takes two to tango, so the fault wasn't yours alone. Both of you got into the relationship, so with the virtue of that, it will be both your faults which led to the break-up. It will make the reasons for the breakup much clearer, and will help you get some clarity of thought.

► Yesterday was the last time you guys fought and hung up on each other on a very unpleasant note. The wounds are fresh, the pain is more than words can express, and you want to pick your phone and press the button which will speedily dial his number.

But don't! Thinking about the good times spent together will tempt you to rethink your decision. Needless to say, you can't forget the terrible things and the reason for break up. Be firm on your decision because that's for the best.

► While dealing with break up, you must learn to love your own space. The best company that you can ever have is being with yourself. Constantly being with someone else, does not give you time and space to think about what you want or where you are headed.

This is your chance to love your space, explore it and exploit it constructively to move on after a break up. Begin by socializing with friends you haven't met for quite sometime, hangout together, go to coffee shops, join book and film clubs and just be yourself.

► Hate is too strong a word and too insignificant a word to be a part of your life. It's completely understood, that being at the receiving end (irrespective of the fact that you've left or you are leaving), feeling hatred towards the other person is very natural.

It's natural but not necessary. Deal with the hate aspect, by throwing away all the things that remind you of him or her. Give it all away or just trash it. Every time you want to say 'I hate him or her', replace it with 'I love myself' and see the hate transcend to love for yourself!

► Enough of avoiding friends and family and fearing the breakup related questions. Come out of your shell. Call up your friends and go out shopping. Catch a movie this weekend with your old friends or family members.

Indulge in little treats of fond memories with them as you take a day out with your loved ones. As you do this, you will realize that, there is more to love than you've lost.

► The last and the final tip of dealing with break up is to let go. The Demi Moore's line from the Indecent Proposal goes, 'If you want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever.

If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with', holds true no matter what the situation is. Just let go of all the ill feelings, trapped emotions and the obsession to hold on to it. The earlier you let it go, the easier your chances are of coming to peace with it.

These 7 rules are the best ways to deal with a relationship break up. A break up is inevitable, but loving yourself is something you can always do. Love yourself, like there's no tomorrow and this love will be yours forever. Cheer up, because now you know how to deal with a break up.