Obsession Confused with Love in Relationships

You meet someone at a party and get talking. You see some sparks of attraction here and there, but hold on to be sure about things going ahead so soon. The next day, you receive flowers and a small box of chocolates at your office. You feel very happy on receiving them and it brings a smile on your face. There is a number and you call on it to say thank you.

Later in the week, you exchange a few messages and soon, you start meeting each other more often than you expected. Everything is going fine. He wants to hold your hand every time you take a walk and there is something different about it. You let down the feeling thinking he is just a possessive boyfriend.

A few more days later, you get a little busy with work and family issues. And then, the veil starts lifting up. The continuous messages and calls, after receiving no reply. The anger on ignorance and the assumptions indicating intentional neglect tell you something is seriously wrong. And then, realization dawns. Obsession shows itself in complete light!

We have seen a few movies on obsessive behavior in romantic relationships to give us a brief idea about the whole concept. The way movies portray characters obsessively and madly in love, is a bit influencing.

Even though the characters have a dark shade to them, youngsters are fascinated by them almost immediately. This isn't the sole reason that gives rise to obsessive behavior but it surely is a part of it!

▶ When a person is in love with someone, he is in control of himself, his actions and his thoughts. He is supportive to the one he loves. Obsession leads to dominance. He loses all control of his behavior, his actions and his thoughts. In short, 'only' he wants to pull all the strings. Obsession takes you to a completely different level of madness.

▶ When an individual is obsessed with someone, he cannot function rationally. He thinks of the person he is in love with. He wants to text that person, call her and just be with her. He fails to concentrate on his work and on his individual life. Every thought is about her. There is nothing but that person in his consciousness and subconsciousness.

▶ If you receive too many gifts too soon after knowing someone, you can take this as a sign of obsession. Without knowing much about you, if a person can gift you so many things, he is trying to take control of you.

Too many messages and phone calls soon after exchanging numbers is another trait of obsessive behavior. Try refraining yourself from replying and if in return you get tantrums, you can be positive about it being obsession.

▶ If you start dating someone and then realize that they might be obsessive, there are ways to find out the truth. If this person calls you too many times in a day, specially when you are out with other people, they're obsessive. He will give you a call when you are out for a movie, at a lunch or dinner, at a function or even at a party with friends.

▶ These people also make it impossible for you to maintain healthy relationships with other. They will not like it if you are too close to other people. For example, your colleagues, friends and at times relatives too, will be disliked.

Obsession doesn't understand sharing. Anyone who shares your attention and time will be hated. You will be restricted from talking and being with these people.

▶ An obsessive partner might always want to hold your hand in public places just to show you are his and that you are taken. While holding hands is a very sweet gesture, there are times when it's just not appropriate.

You will slowly start understanding his body language better than what you do now. You will understand that more than the feeling of physical intimacy, for him it becomes the need.

▶ An obsessive individual also doubts your loyalty every now and then as this thing scares him the most. If your partner keeps doubting in respect to infidelity and abandonment, do all you can to assure him otherwise. If after assuring him, he still continues with the doubts, you can take this as a serious sign of obsession and talk to your partner about it.

There are many cases of obsession confused with love in relationships we see today. Though it might take time to actually recognize these cases, eventually they make themselves very evident. When obsession reaches extremes, the obsessed individuals might even threaten you with suicide.

Before your relationship reaches this stage, talk to your partner and see exactly what he wants out of you. If he is being unreasonable in their demands, it's time to actually abandon him. Sooner, the better!