Politeness and the Art of Conversation

These codes have suffered changes conforming to the time, society and trend. Some 200- 300 years ago there were different behavior norms, for instance simple men behaved differently than aristocracy or royalty.

But the real essential codes and laws of self-respect and respect for the others, for relatives or friends, for older people, have remained the same. Out of these the most important are children's behavioral code, because like Freud used to say, the child is the father of the future adult.

Speaking of manners, children should first acquire them, because otherwise they need to know how to behave, the sooner the better. Good manners are acquired in childhood, or not at all.

One of the most important rules of politeness is simplicity. Simple behavior that lacks both shyness and arrogance can help us express ourselves in the most direct manner. Walking is also essential. We should walk without dragging our feet or, on the contrary, without swaying our feet and arms. Also, we should not be provocative in our way of walking.

Another good and pleasant thing is to be distinguished. But our distinction prevents us from boasting too much with our outfit or manner of speaking. According to the basic rules of feminine elegance, a lady should mind her bodily hygiene every day.

Politeness can also be proven at the lunch or dinner table. This table is a sort of minefield in which there are obstacles and risks everywhere, especially given the fact that it is oftentimes a public gesture. Politeness is not merely a thing imposed by the society; it can often do us and our relationships a lot of good.

There is the so-called art of conversation, which also works in most social situations for the benefit of those who employ it as an art. Of course, there are certain basic rules to follow.

First of all, one should not start each sentence with "I" and "me/my". This creates an unpleasant image, in other words, you might suggest that you are placed in the center of attention, that you consider yourself to be the most important person in the world.

Secondly, one should not have the monopoly of the conversation. Even if you have storytelling skills, this does not mean you are entitled to keep talking all night long.

Also, it is inadvisable to jump into conclusions after each of your interlocutor's sentence, and you should avoid speaking about general issues. If you speak too fast, or repeat an idea, even if that idea is brilliant, you might end up being ignored.

Even if you are right a thousand times, it's best not to interrupt your interlocutor. And while you speak to your interlocutor, you should look him in the eyes, because if you look sideways or around you might seem dishonest or absent-minded.

You should not get agitated during the discussion and it is best not to make promises that you may easily break. Also, it's impolite to contradict somebody just to show that you are original, and to approve things you are not sure of.

In group discussions, it is good to speak less than the others. To speak very little does not mean lacking general culture and is not a sign of stupidity, but proves a strong personality.

Another important thing to be remembered in order to have an artful conversation, is that you should never ask your interlocutor questions referring to negative aspects of his life or his personality or belonging to somebody that is close to your interlocutor.

Well, wisdom, truth and love will surely help us in every life situation and conversation!