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Understanding Men

Roy D'Silva
Ask any woman "Can men be understood?" and the instant response you can get is a "Can we?" (and the answer is pretty loud.) But then, they are the ones whom women love and want to be in a relationship with, for a lifetime. Then is it really so difficult to understand men?
Men are a mixture -- sometimes easy, sometimes difficult to understand. Most differences in relationships come when men act in a different way as is expected of them. Men in relationships are entirely different from men who are single. Some men may take that extra step to express their love, not that men are that good at expressing their love, but they do try!
I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt.
- Céline (Before Sunrise)
The above quote is so rightly said by the character Céline in the movie; what is needed is an "attempt" -- an attempt to understand how men think! Let's start the journey into their minds. ...

Love does Matter

Men are no different than women when it comes to love. They too want to make their lady feel like a princess. It's just that men are not as vocal about their feelings as women are.
For men, a simple "I Love You" does mean a lot; it means a commitment for a lifetime. They will not be able to express it through words, but they will always give those small cues that will reassure their girl of their love.
W. Somerset in "The Moon and Sixpence", sums it beautifully; As lovers, the difference between men and women is that women can love all day long, but men only at times.
The World is Black & White
Men cannot understand things that are unsaid! They are not good at it. Women have the ability to do so, but men don't. They will appreciate if their lady expresses her likes, dislikes -- in essence -- speak out whatever she feels! They find it easy to fulfill her demands when she is vocal about them.
Directions! Who Wants Them?
It is a known fact that men hate it when women give directions! They feel as if their lady does not trust them enough to drive them to the destination. But yes, the male ego does play a major role in them not taking your advice, even if it means driving in the same blocks for a long period of time!
Men do Cry, At All Ages
The romantic notion that big and strong men don't cry is not true. Crying is nothing but an emotional vent for anyone who's hurt or even when someone's joy knows no bounds. Men may not be as prone to crying as women are, but they do cry.
Traditionally, there is a myth that grownup men do not cry. This is one of the reasons behind men trying to hide their emotions.
Confidence is What it Takes
There are a huge number of men out there, who want their lady to be confident! They find it very intimidating, even seductive, to see a confident woman and feel a sense of pride that the lady is all theirs.
This sense of pride can, however, get converted into insecurity during numerous instances. For example, someone complimenting their lady for her beauty or attire or the lady getting a particular opportunity before her man, may take a toll on the stability of the relationship.

Boys' Night Out

A night out for men is as crucial as the visit to the vet is for the pets. That is the time when they remember their carefree boyhood, those teenage years and finally, their family. A boys' night out can be anything from a cozy dinner at a friend's place to a rip-roaring trip in the city.

They Are Not Your Girlfriends!

Men (though not every time) will listen to problems that their lady shares. But yes, going on and on with it can be a huge "turn off".
Men will lend a ear, but will also give advice that (for the lady) might be unnecessary (according to her)! And if the lady is expecting the same kind of reaction like her girlfriend gave it to her, she is sure to get disappointed.

Too Much Love Can Suffocate

We have heard this a lot of times but yes, men need space. They like to maintain their individual identity even if they are in a relationship.
As John Gray described in his book, "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus"; men are like rubber bands! They will try to pull away when they start feeling suffocated (men do tend to get bored easily), but will come back soon with the same intimacy, once they get their "space"!

Mysteries are Exciting

Think men like to know about their girls? Think again! Most men like the mysteries to be unfolded slowly. The moment they feel that their lady is no longer a challenge for them, they will get bored. Girls, be mysterious ... don't reveal much to your guy, to keep that magic alive!

Commitment - That's the Word!

Women always complain that men are not serious about commitments, but when they do, they are more serious than women. Commitment for men is the ultimate step in any relationship and they will not want to look back, later on! They will, however, take their time to reach this stage in the relation, more than what women expect!
As Warren Farrell quoted, When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.

Passion Drives Them

For men, passion in a physical relationship does matter. Intimacy in a relation assures them of the closeness they have with their partner. Contrary to the popular belief, men do not look for a perfect figure, but what they look for is the attitude of the partner!

From the Horse's Mouth!

♀ Few will admit, but emotionally men are weaker than the fairer sex, but then they are also easier to understand. Show him your love and care, and he will bring the world to your feet. Keep things simple, no rocket science needed here, and a guy will be your best friend. - Clifford Aga
♀ Men tend to be straightforward. Though afraid and distracted initially, most eventually find commitment to be the ultimate seduction. - Omkar Phatak
♀ Guys tend to underestimate themselves in relationships by anticipating things that don't hold importance. This triggers a sense of insecurity. - Neelesh Sahasrabuddhe
♀ For men it is either black or white, there is seldom any gray area. - Tanveer Taj
♀ For most questions asked, we really want to hear either of the two words: Yes OR No. - Kulbhushaan Raghuvanshi
♀ Understanding men is like understanding algebra; it may seem difficult at first, but once you get the right formula, you can master the subject! - Rahul Pandita
The difference between a man's way of life and that of a woman's is best explained by Elayne Boosler;
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.