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What is Relationship Anarchy?

Dhanashree Patane
Love is what we make of it and relationships are settled in the casting of social norms and definitions of an 'ideal relationship'. Relationship anarchy, is one term that does not shy to contrast the ideal definition of a relationship. Let's read more about this.
Not only is love the essence of living, it has become a major emotional and social string, binding people together. We can say it has become more of a statement and a necessity. Being in a relationship makes two individuals conscious and indirectly bonded to the so-called 'rules and regulations' of love and relationships made by man and society.
What does true love say? It says true love happens only once. And that you can only be in love with a single person at one time. True love thrives on virtues of loyalty, faith, trust and possessiveness and obsession too, till a certain extent. So in short, the rules of a normal relationship are:
"You can fall in love only with one person at a time, be loyal to him/her."
"Expectations are a natural side effect and acceptable till a certain extent."
"It is wrong to love anyone else when already in love with someone (committed) or married."
"Compromises are an unavoidable part and a small price for love in a relationship."
We cannot term these as 'rules', as it questions the emotional aspect in love, but these sure make the molding cast for a relationship. These are the indirect principles that need to be adhered to. And that is what is being followed since ages.
Love as the foundation of relationships has become a culture, a tradition that we follow. It therefore is termed as a monogamous relationship. Anything outside the social realms of a relationship is considered as 'sin'. Deterioration of the image socially and personally pushes the offender into deep guilt.
With time though, there are many changes that seep through the bond of a relationship. We know of relationships, that are now categorized as 'open' like polyamory. With different subsets like 'just friends', 'sex buddies' and open relationships are now being personalized and modified while giving rise to many other terms for relationships.
A well-known and similar term for a relationship that denies all the terms and principles of monogamy or an ideal relationship, is relationship anarchy. More on this term will be discussed in the following.

Relationship Anarchy - The Definition

This concept is very closely related to polygamy and it strongly opposes the ideals of monogamy. This term thrives on freedom and having multiple relationships at one time, with the consent of both the partners.
It is selfless and unconditional love, that does not have barricades of 'one true love', and 'forever and ever', expectations, jealousy, possessiveness, etc. It represents the class of society that believes, love is not that feeling that is shared only with one special person.
True love can happen at one time and with, many partners. And this is not related to physical relationships only. Such relationship defines emotional love and feeling of attachment with more than one person at one time.
The difference between polygamy and anarchy is that open relationships or polygamy will have more distinct classes like friendship, physical attraction, infatuation, or a relation outside marriage, like an affair. But relationship anarchy will not distinguish between all these.
As long as it is with the consent of everyone, there is no term like an extramarital affair, it will simply be coined as love even if it is outside a marriage. There is no primary or secondary partner in such a relationship.
People who are believers of this, can have multiple affairs, physical relationships, infatuations and friendships, at one time. They do not follow commitments, even if the relation thrives for an extra long time.

The Principles of Relationship Anarchy

We will understand few more principles of this concept, that will clear the difference in open relationships and anarchy.
● Love is unlimited, do not restrict it to only one person. You can feel love for many people and that too without tagging them as partners or friends. Every feeling is unique, without value and comparison.
● Keep no demands, love is selfless. Respect and love will truly define when you stop loading the partner with demands just because you love him/her. Love does not give anyone the right to set boundaries, demands and rules. Experience freedom and in being loved too.
● This is also a savior of compromises, why to change the individual just to make him fit in your thoughts about love. Respect his values and explore other love interests, without harming the relationship, instead of you or others compromising.
● Be strong to face and fight the norms that the monogamy inspired society imposes. Learn to escape the questions that will be raised.
● Keep the relationship free from duties. Talk or spend time together because you genuinely feel so. Do not do it because you are ideally supposed to do it. Do not force yourself into something, with the fear of offending ideal relationship norms. Fear should not pressurize you, it should come from within, truly from the heart.
Well, all these were the so-called norms of relationship anarchy. When considering all the facts, we know that there are many experiences that have made us fall in at least one pointer mentioned before. There is a social following when it comes to relationships, a set of moral guidelines by society.
But not for anarchy in relationships, they follow only what the heart says and what makes them and those involved with them happy. For some this may be a solution, especially with bisexual or homosexual individuals, who may be strained in a relationship due to forced monogamy as a social status.
Neither do we support nor oppose relationship anarchy. Every relationship is different, and every individual has the right to choose his or her own way of living it. As mentioned here, love is what you make of it. The tags will change, but the very substance of it is eternal!